Yes, it can. Noticing the questions you ask yourself and changing them as needed is a simple and powerful method for self improvement. Asking the right questions can improve your day to day experiences as well as the trajectory of your life.

So how does this work? Your unconscious mind is kind of like a search engine, willing and able to find answers for whatever questions you throw its way, without judging whether or not the results will be beneficial for you, so it’s up to you to ask questions that actually improve your life.

Two Kinds of Questions

Let’s say you made a mistake, something like missing an appointment with an important client. If you are asking yourself the wrong sort of questions, your internal dialogue might sound something like this:

“Ugh, I blew it! Why can’t I do anything right?”

As soon as you ask this question, your mind is going to accept the assumption built into the question, that you can’t do anything right, and start finding reasons, like these:

“It’s because I’m stupid, and I’m not organized enough, and I’m ALWAYS forgetting important things like this, probably because mom is spacey a lot so obviously I’m genetically doomed to be that way too..”

In the process of trying to help you by answering your question, your mind has now provided you with a cascade of ideas about yourself that are not at all empowering. You’re also likely to feel much worse about the missed appointment because now it’s a reflection of what a complete loser you now think you are.

How different would it feel if your internal response sounded more like this instead:

“Wow, I made a big mistake. What am I going to do moving forward to make it up to this client, and make sure I make it to important appointments in the future?”

Both responses acknowledge that you did something wrong, but one type of question keeps you stuck repeating the pattern and the bad feelings associated with that mistake, while the other leads you to a better strategy for next time. The first makes you feel much worse, while the other makes you feel empowered as it acknowledges your ability to improve the situation.

Tips

So, now that you understand the power of this simple concept, you’re probably ready to give this a try. Here are some tips:

• As a general rule, “why” questions are not empowering, as we mostly use them to find excuses for negative assumptions:
Why am I stuck in this situation? Why do I keep getting dumped? Why am I always getting the worst projects at work? Why does everyone here hate me?
All of these questions assume something negative about you or about your situation, which affects the way you see things and the way you respond to your situation.

• “How” questions empower you by focusing on the process of moving forward:
How am I going to change this situation? How can I be a better partner, and what can I change to start finding relationships that are better for me? How can I make the most of the work projects I have, and work on getting better ones moving forward? How am I going to get better at connecting with the people in this group?
Notice how different these feel than the “why” questions above.

It’s difficult to change the questions you ask yourself if you’re not consciously aware of your inner dialogue. It’s also important to be able to spot the limiting beliefs and assumptions in your questions. Over time, the more you pay attention to your inner dialog, the more your unconscious mind gets the message that you want access, and you’ll become more consciously aware of your inner dialogue more. The more you notice the dialogue, the more easily you can use questions for self improvement instead of beating yourself up.

I’d love to hear about experiences with this technique: how have you changed your experiences for the better by asking yourself better questions?

Also, if you want to make these changes faster and more easily, hypnosis is an excellent way to access and change limiting assumptions and beliefs that are holding you back and are shaping the way you feel about yourself generally, and to begin experiencing more empowering feelings and beliefs right away. If you’re interested in experiencing how hypnosis can help with self improvement, call or email me to schedule a free phone consultation.